Log in



I haven't been doing much...and I also haven't really been working too much, either. lol Finally, I get two days off or at least just one day off each week. Though of course I'm not hitting 40 hours or just barely. lol That's the part I hate.


I seem to be in some sort of writer's block for my fics...it seems like I can't write anymore. Or that I'm writing in a different style or something that I just don't like. when I'm writing, and I re-read what I just wrote, I'm like WTF? I'm just making half-assed sentences and I don't really know what else to write.

I don't know, but I used to not get embarrassed about reading what I previously wrote in my earlier fics, but now I think of them as stupid, and well...stupid. I'm like, gosh, what the hell was I thinking? I guess I'm probably criticizing myself too much, but I just don't know...

Also, I have not been able to draw a thing since...well, since last year. What the hell...
I know I don't 'create' the art or anything, I'm just basically re-drawing the picture and try to make it look the same as the original one, but I really haven't been able to get myself to draw anything lately. It's like I'm not interested in drawing anymore...or writing as well.

And OMG, I want that car SO bad. It just makes me sad that I can't have the car I've always wanted...I can think back, like waaay back whenever I first started looking into those cars. I was probably about 12 or so...
And what sucks is that 'the ex' got a new truck not too long ago. He likes to show off. It just makes me hate him even more. I know I'm being a bit envious but still...

Also his comment about, "Look, Lolita, this is where you use two feet to drive." Almost like making fun of me. It's a manual transmission truck and I know that you have to use two feet.
The thing is, I drive using two feet on an automatic transmission car. My dad never told me that it was the wrong way to drive. My mom drives like that, so I guess it's okay for now. But hardly anyone else I know does this.
Actually, I found out that I have a faster reaction to hit the brake pedal with my other foot than with my right one. I was driving one day with just one foot(which I can do but I don't really trust myself and have to keep alert all the time while driving or I'll end up leaving my foot on the gas or something and screw up, like really. Once I was at a parking lot, ready to stop, but I forgot to remove my foot from the gas pedal and pressed it instead of the brake. So I could've hit a car if I had a car in front of me.


But yea...he still keeps bothering me and telling me that he's going to wait for me. He can wait all he wants but there's no way I would seriously date him again.

Although...for some reason I've been thinking a lot about Pedro...my other ex boyfriend. He's in Midland right now, but I just don't know why if I never actually liked him...well, maybe I did a little but I'm just so picky about guys. lol At this rate, I'll never get another boyfriend. lol
Except that he's so serious and thinks like an adult already. One day, (back when we were still going out) he told me that he would come over and play some video games with me and the next day, he told me that video games were for kids. I was like, WTF?
I just shouldn't get involved with either of them and just try to find someone new...
but it's so hard! If people hadn't presented those two guys to me, I STILL would not have a boyfriend.

I just want to find someone who at least has some interests I have and can agree with me when I say, I want to go snowboarding. Other people, including Pedro, Oscar, and my mom disagree. They're like, what's the point? I don't see any point or why she wants to buy a snowboard and blah, blah, blah...

And speaking of snowboarding, I really want the freaking 2K company or SOMEONE to make a good snowboarding game. Amped 2 has had it's time and I really just HATED Amped 3...

Well, enough of my rants...I'm going to try to sleep now. XD